Often the bodega's near where I lived in Brooklyn, did not carry Pizza Goldfish and it made life difficult. These are the best Goldfish cracker, I will fight you.

Everything I wanted the Salt & Vinegar Crisps to be!

Stop the presses! We have a new entrant to the top tier! These will destroy your mouth because you won't stop eating them! This is closer to what I expected the Salt & Vinegar Crisps to taste like. At first the dill pickle flavor increases the artificialness of the crackers, but once you've NOM NOMMED a few handfuls, your now numb mouth with thank you.

Wondering the halls of my local food library in a new year's day haze, I came across something confounding. My favorite flavor combined with my least favorite and presumed soon to be discontinued Goldfish cracker type, the Crisp. For science, I picked these up along with the Barbecue flavor and went home to crack open a nice cold seltzer and try these things out. The first thing I noticed was there was a lot of flavor bits on the outside of the cracker, sometimes a good sign. The next thing I noticed was that I had just consumed 3 handfuls. One bite, everyone knows the rule. 9.1. These are tremendous. When someone complains that the sourness of a chip or cracker is ruining their mouth, you know it's a good one. Finally, something that has me questioning my previous hate of the Crisp. The barbecue flavor is pretty good too! These are up there with a Cape Cod or Kettle Salt and Vinegar chip for me right now. Do yourself a favor and go buy 3 bags, immediately.

Sucker for cheesy and spicy crackers, these could crank up the heat a little to get to S tier.

Salted like you should salt a steak. Heavily.

The Pretzels elevate the Xtra Cheddar crackers. It is harmony. Salty, salty, harmony.

Divisive, I know. These crackers rule, funky fake cheese smell and all.

Gone in one day.

These were a favorite of mine as they tasted like a more concentrated Pizza flavor.

A weird cheese powdery mess. Its good. I'll forgive the mess.

Surprisingly better than the full size cheddar crackers, which as you may have realized, is not my favorite.

Aren't crips chips? I tried these before the S tier Dill Pickle Crisps and they surprised me! These are very much in the same flavor profile as a classic kettle barbecue chip like Cape Cod. Decent amount of flavoring visible on the cracker, always a good sign.

They fine.

Step above regular cheddar for the joke.

B because of Buddy the Elf but barely.

Similar to Frank's, doesn't improve upon the base cheddar cracker enough. Good for soup tho.

Low-key, best oyster cracker replacement. Solid.

C until you mix with some other flavors, hence the whole Mix series. Improvement could be had with a more malted flavor.

The only flavor of grahams that needs to exist.

The classic. Cheez-its are a better plain cheese cracker. They aren't bad though, so they are what we will call average.

Flavor blasted cheddar flavoring on the crisp. They are fine, I guess.

You got Dunkin'?

Improvement on the basic cheddar cracker, but just barely. Still a C.

Unlike the Xtra Cheddar crackers, I can't get over the powdery mess. These are closer to bottom dwellers.

No enjoyment found eating these crackers.

Same problem with the other stamped crackers, they aren't as nice to eat!

Feels like a missed opportunity for some more gross green crackers.

Cheddar, but worse.

I love everything pizza flavored, except for these. They swung and missed. Needs more tomato flavor.

Just no.

These were a disappointment as an avid Salt & Vinegar person. They seem to be a "lighter" option but they are basically those crisps in a sesame chicken salad with some not-so-great vinegar flavoring.

Just because you tried to make it "heathy" doesn't get this nightmare out of the bowels of the list.

Goldfischli is the OG!

TBD